Elisa works at a large energy company and has progressed to become an organizational advisor. She has been working there for 1.5 years, and her team consists of 8 people. She strikes up a conversation with Thom, and somehow the discussion turns to salaries. Thom, believe it or not, earns €1000 more per month than Elisa. Elisa is completely shocked; she finds it unfair and is very angry. I would be too in her situation. Elisa wanted to immediately approach her boss to discuss this. Fortunately, she called me first, and I advised her to approach this as a negotiation that we would prepare together!

What does good preparation look like?

A good start is half the battle, right? At least that's how the saying goes. In negotiation, this is certainly true. I always say a successful negotiation is 80% preparation. I consider preparation the first step of the negotiation.

Preparing for a negotiation may seem obvious. But be honest, do you always do it? When you went for your first job, did you think about how you would approach your salary negotiation? Did you even consider negotiating your salary? In my experience, many women don't. But after reading this blog, you will at least do it more often (I hope).

What do you prepare for?

In your preparation, you gather a lot of information. Where do you get that from? Well, it's simple: from colleagues, friends, and 'independent' sources on the internet, for example. Suppose you want to negotiate your salary; then you ask others what they expect a certain position should pay, and you can also find a lot of information on the internet about this.

And I'll share a pitfall with you right away. If you've been following me for a while, you know I always say that women tend to be more modest. So if you ask your female friend what a similar position should pay, there's a good chance she'll mention an amount on the lower side. So feel free to add about 10% to that. Also, think about your strengths. Not always easy because now you, as a woman, have to determine what you're worth. Think about questions like:

• What do you have to offer?
• What are your unique selling points?
• What are your results from the past period?
• What compliments have you received? And make sure your answers to these are on the 'bluffing' side for you to tell the truth. Otherwise I know you will be too modest.

Also, think about who you're negotiating with and especially what his or her interests are. Don't underestimate that. Suppose, in Elisa's case, the interest of her manager, whom we'll call John, includes ensuring she doesn't quit. After all, she's been there for 1.5 years, is well-integrated, and the organization has a hiring freeze. This means if Elisa quits, John can't just hire someone else, and even if he could, it might take up to 6 months to find someone, with costs of a procedure (advertising, recruitment, training, and so on) quickly adding up to around €100,000. If John's interest were that it would be nice if Elisa left because he actually has too many people in his department, Elisa's position would be completely different.

Also, assess the personality of the person you're negotiating with. I use the Greek Archetypes for this. I'll write a blog about this soon. For example, approach a dominant Zeus in a way that contributes to his success. Approach the rational Apollo with your facts by bringing along your excel sheet. The charming Hermes would like to hear about the innovative aspects of your proposal. And with the emotional Poseidon, make sure he likes you... And I also have tips for the female archetypes, but that's in that other blog. The message is especially, assess the personality and treat the other person as he or she wants to be treated.

Setting a goal!

This is an open door, right? Well, my very first salary negotiation went like this:

Manager: "How much do you want to earn?"

Me: "It doesn't matter as long as it's about €1600 net."

Manager: "Okay, fine, we can do that."

So I was totally unprepared for this question. Stupid, stupid, stupid of me.

So with your goal, you determine what you want and add a bit to that. Suppose your research shows that €3500 in salary is reasonable. Would you ask for €3500 then? Of course not. Why not? Because then you will always get less! Assume that the other party wants to negotiate. In this case, I would say €4200, and then you can always fall back to €3500. And not lower!!!

With your goal, you determine on the one hand what you want and on the other hand, you determine your goal on which you say that you won't do it. So determine your lower limit. I once bought a car and it hinged on €250. I eventually went along with that counter offer and really regretted for years that I didn't stick to that €250 which I felt I had overpaid. But hey, nice salesman, nice car, you know how it goes. And you know, I never saw that salesman again. With good preparation and determining my goal, I could have decided better to buy the car somewhere else.

What negotiation space is there for achieving the goal?

You largely determine the negotiation space yourself. That's your margin between what you want (+ the add up) and the point at which you say I won't do it. By the way, what also helps is if you have a plan B. In my case of that car, my plan B could of course have been another car dealer. In case you apply for a new job with another employer, your plan B could be your current job, but maybe you also have a salary offer from another job in your pocket. This all determines your negotiation space.

After my stupid non-negotiation in that first job of mine, I decided after 3 years that I wanted to make a career move. At that time, it wasn't possible with my current employer. I was then advised to apply elsewhere and to come back to the table with any offer... I know, very strange, but apparently that's how it worked there. So that's what I did. I got a nice offer that was €200 higher than my then salary. When asked what the offer was, I, on advice from my husband, said that I would be making €600 more. To which my employer offered me a nice role with an increase of €1000 per month...

What arguments do you bring in...

In your preparation, you have thought about all your arguments. An argument is a response every time you get a 'NO' during your negotiation. And again, you prepare all your arguments. I always say prepare for the first 'NO', the second 'NO', the third 'NO', and so on.

Suppose you want a salary increase of €500 per month.

• You ask for €700 and your manager then says for example: "That's just not possible." That's the first 'NO'. Then don't say "why not?" Because then the rest of the conversation is about why you're not getting something. That generally becomes a negative and energy-draining conversation that you really don't want.
• So just say: "Given my performance over the past year, I think a salary increase of €700 is very reasonable." Then comes the second 'NO'. For example: "We've had a tough year as an organization, and a salary increase just isn't possible."
• Then say, for example. "As you know, my performance has always been excellent, and I have ensured I have achieved the agreed results." Then comes the third 'NO'. For example: "You have certainly achieved very good results, and I want to compliment you for that, but a salary increase of €700 is not possible right now."
• And now you're there! The manager compliments you and says that a salary increase of €700 is not possible. So you say, "thank you for the compliment, and I'm glad you see that. You also say that an increase of €700 is not possible, so my question is, what amount is possible!"

The next step, after preparation, is how you're going to play the negotiation game. And that's another blog.

Oh, and Elisa, with her it turned out just fine. Her manager had no idea about the salary difference. He rectified it, and she received an additional €18,000 to compensate for the difference over the past 1.5 years.